


When You're Feeling Lost ( I'll Leave My Love)

by moongoddessluna



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, M/M, but not in the way you think, i don't know what to tag this with help ????, somewhat canon divergence, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moongoddessluna/pseuds/moongoddessluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Derek can't sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You're Feeling Lost ( I'll Leave My Love)

**Author's Note:**

> UnBeta'd so probably of mistakes in here  
> Enjoy!

Sometimes Derek can't sleep.  
  
Tonight is one of those nights that the acrid smell of burning flesh and ash fill his nose for hours at a time, desperately trying to go to sleep, the images of all the people he's lost begin beginning to tinge behind his eyelids.  
  
His family and pack, his little human cousins who had always been so energetic and loving, always running around the house or the backyard and clinging to him when they got scareed.  
  
His dad, who had given him his first birds and bees talk, who snuck him first beer that had made him tipsy for a small while (considering it was slightly laced with wolfsbane).  
  
And his mom, sharp and witty, but also proud and wise always comforting Derek or guiding him when he didn't know what to do.  
  
Kate's face follows, her face filled with satisfaction that she'd managed to trick and seduce him as she shamelessly admitted to burning his family to the ground.  
  
He still wakes up sometimes with a bout of cold fear in the pit of his stomach and sweat on his brow, rigid lines more pronounced on his body where Kate's sharp nails had once been; Derek always manages to calm himself when he remembers she's dead and can't hurt him anymore.

Laura's face follows. He remembers her short bark of laughter (no pun intended ) and her glee-filled cackle when he'd sulked over having to pull the weeds because she'd caught him sneaking out to meet with Kate. Laura's charming, charismatic smile that could light up the whole room whenever she was present. Their endless bickering about who or what was better.  
  
 _"You're like the sun and moon. Direct opposites," his mother says one night when Laura has fumingly stomped her way up to her room. "You'll always balance each other out, Laura can can be headstrong and foolish when she's convinced that she's right, that's why she needs you to be her Beta when she's Alpha. She's bull-headed and foolish at best but you're even more so."_

Derek still has nightmares about Laura's mauled body and glassy eyes.  
  
Peter, who had been his best friend and had been forced to slash his throat with his claws because he'd been driven to the  edge of insanity. The old Peter had a mate and cubs, who always made him moon shaped pancakes when he was sick. No, not like this one who was just no more than a mere shadow of himself these days.  
  
His betas, Erica and Boyd, who had been teenagers when they'd been brought into this mess. Who had left Derek's pack  out of their own will yet Derek still manically searched for them when they turned up missing.  
  
Finding and carrying Erica's body from the frigid floor of the vault, had been one of his breaking points. Erica, who had been who had been full of snark and life, capable of achieving something great; but had instead died prematurely at no more at the age of sixteen with nothing but bravery and courage for something she believed in.                                                         

Boyd's face comes to him next, looking as if he'd been angelically relieved of a burden he could no longer carry.  
  
He holds Boyd's eyes as he tries to steady him, his hands shaking and smudged red with blood. Boyd whispering that he's okay and it's not his fault that this is happening to him. That there's nothing Derek can do.  
  
"I'm sorry," he finds himself saying to Boyd even though he knows he's not apologizing just to Boyd at that moment, but to everybody.  
To his family, to his mom, to Laura, for being so stupid for getting them killed.  For bringing into this mess and catastrophe in the first place.

"It's not your fault," Boyd replies, trying to absolve Derek of his guilt.

And it's the last thing Boyd says to him before going limp and splashing onto the soaked ground.  
  
Derek's shoulders are shaking and he doesn't realize he's crying until a simple gentle touch on the back of Derek's neck makes him instantly relax.   
  
"Shhh, go to sleep," Stiles' scratchy voice mumbles behind him, his thumb pressing on the pronounced ridges of Derek's shoulders.  He continues doing that for a while in complete silence; but then flops back to his side of the bed when he tires out.  
  
Derek changes positions so he's facing Stiles' body  this time, pressing himself tightly against him as his soothing scent invades his nostrils and runs his nose along his pale, white throat that's splattered with the moles Derek loves. Derek squeezes his eyes shut even tighter, relishing the comfort Stiles provides to him.  
  
"Stop it, it tickles," Stiles says groggily, half-heartedly trying to slap away Derek's stubble covered face.  
  
Derek settles on for the curve of his creamy throat, and lays his head there listening to the soft, reassuring thuds of Stiles' heartbeat.  
  
This is what he likes best about Stiles, he decides, remembering days when things like this happened, whether privately or publically. The way he doesn't pry or ask Derek questions when he's like this, even though Derek knows he's dying to ask him, and lets Derek sidle him for comfort instead.  
  
It even goes both ways for them sometimes. Like the time Stiles ran out of the market one time without any sort of explanation and later shared with him post-coital, that he'd smelled a perfume that had smelled strongly and exactly the same as his mother's and he simply couldn't handle it.  
  
It's in times like these that Derek realizes how lucky he is.  
  
Derek presses a chaste kiss to Stiles' temple before settling himself back on his throat.  
  
"You're not getting soft on me are you, sourwolf?" Stiles yawns, angling his body into a more comfortable position. "I might have to -"  
  
Derek growls at him and nips at his neck playfully, ignoring his startled yip in response and everything in the world is alright for a while.  
  
At least for now.

                                                              **FIN**

**Feel free to bother me on my[ Tumblr ](http://herondaletomylightwood.tumblr.com)**

**Author's Note:**

> Like most of my ideas, this popped up around 3-4 in the morning.  
> I kind of cried writing this, so apologies for any typos.


End file.
